2008 Woodie Awards
Ask Katie
Advice From the Sandoval
Katie Sandoval
Issue date: 3/18/08 Section: Inside the Bubble
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I'm really excited to hear what you have to say so please comment below, maybe offer some of your own advice to our readers. If you need some advice, drop a letter to the editor and I'll get back to you in the next issue.
Much love,
Katie
I'm a junior and I've been getting a lot of pressure from my family to get a 'real' job this summer instead of the fun job I've had the past two years and absolutely love. I feel like it's my last summer to enjoy life as a college student, but I know I need to start getting my life together. Should I keep doing what I love or start conforming to the real world?
- Forever young
Dear Forever Young,
College is tons of fun and trust me, I wish I didn't have to graduate this semester, but your parents do have a point. I know it sucks to grow up, but we all have to at some point. As much as you love this job, how do you know you won't love the next job that you have? Just because it's a "real" job doesn't mean that you won't love it as well. If you don't end up loving it, at least you've had the experience and can rule it out as a future career. Also, having "real" jobs beefs up your resume, and you want a nice juicy resume for grad schools and for future jobs. If you still don't like the idea, look at it this way--"real" jobs pay a lot more than "fun" jobs. Go out and start exploring, my friend--you never know what can happen.
My ex and I have been broken up for almost three years now but every time we're home it's like we're back together again. I know it's probably not the healthiest relationship but I can't seem to move on knowing I always have him to go back to. How do I start to move forward after being on and off for six years?
- Ex Factor
Ex Factor,
Being in an emotional comfort zone is hard to shake, especially when you've devoted six years to him. It's hard to let that go, but you have to. I hate to say it, but when he's not with you, he's probably with someone else, and if he's not committed to you then he's not being fair to you. You're letting him keep you from living your life, and it's time for you to take a stand. It'll be hard but you'll be able to do it. I say the first step is to remove things from your life that remind you of him. Take down those pictures, throw away the old t-shirts. It'll be rough but rehashing old memories isn't going to make things any better. Second, when you go back home, don't call him. It'll be tempting but it's not going to get any better or any easier to get over him if every time you're home you're back together again, trying to imitate how you two were three years ago. If the idea is to move forward, like you say, you also have to slowly stop answering his phone calls and realize that you've got places to go and new people to meet. You deserve better, and if you want something better you have to stand up for yourself. Give your ex the boot and show him you don't need him, because you don't.
I'm a junior transfer student and I'm having a really hard time meeting people because I feel like everyone has already formed their own groups. I'm also living with mostly freshmen so the age gap has become a factor. Any suggestions?
- Not-So-Smooth Transition
Not-So-Smooth,
Meeting people is a hard thing to do when you think that they are not willing to make new friends, but you can't think like that. Consider that they are most likely open to having new friends and meeting other people, especially if they're younger and new to Oxy. Just because they are one or two years younger than you doesn't mean that you have nothing in common with them - at this stage in life you should look to the freshman and sophomores perhaps more as sisters or brothers than young people who don't understand you. Although you may be thinking that you have long-since graduated the over-enthusiastic freshman mentality, you will be surprised that most will actually understand where you are coming from. If this doesn't work out for you then attempt to join a group of some kind. I am in a sorority and I found it to be one the best ways of branching out. If you're not into Greek Life, try out for a club sport, they are always willing to take on new people. If all else fails, come on over and hang out with me! I love meeting new people.
I'm a junior Politics major but recently realized that all the comps research I'm interested in falls into CTSJ. I want to change my major, but I know it's too late. What should I do?
- Major Changes
Major Changes,
You don't have to change your major just for one project. Have you talked to your professors about your comps project first? See if they can suggest ways of turning the CTSJ theme into a more Politics-centered topic. I am sure they would be willing to help you out with whatever questions you have. I don't think you'd need to change your major, even if it wasn't too late to. Just explain to them what you need and I'm sure they will work with you. My comps project is more in the American Studies department, but I am still writing it for my History major so I don't think you have to worry about it. Good luck with comps, and start them early!
My girlfriend is abroad this semester and it's really taking a toll on our relationship. She's off doing new things everyday while I'm still in the same place with the same people. We e-mail every so often but phone calls are so expensive that they're few and far between. We've been together for almost a year and when she left I felt pretty confident about our relationship, but the distance is getting really hard. I don't know if I should end it now or hold off until summer and see if things fall back into place.
- Long Distance Blues
Long Distance Blues,
First of all let me say that you are doing things in your life. You're taking classes in order to further your education. So never think of it that way, and always remember that people from all over the world are just as jealous that you get to take classes in America. I'm currently in a long-distance relationship as well and it can get hard at times, but you should never give up. You have to think of it in a positive way - think of how great it would be when you see her, and what you will be able to say to her when she comes back. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. You may be scared that she won't feel the same way about you when she comes back because of all her new experiences, but being in a relationship is about taking chances and taking risks. So take a risk. Stay with her--you only have two and half months until she's home for summer. If it's not the same when she gets back, then you can decide what to do. And if you're really lonely take up a new hobby or get involved in something that you might necessarily have tried. Give yourself a chance, give her a chance, give your relationship a chance. And take some risks!
I pledged a sorority on campus a few years ago, then changed my mind and de-pledged. Now I'm thinking about joining another, but I feel really guilty. Should I just stay out of them altogether?
- Confused Co-Ed
Confused Co-Ed,
Everyone makes mistakes-it's a part of life. In regards to staying out of sororities altogether, that really is a choice that you must make on your own. Although I didn't have the same problem when I was making my decision, I was torn between two sororities. I made the right choice but I made it by myself, with no pressure from friends and family. A sorority should be something that you want to be a part of; it should be your safe haven, a place where you feel comfortable being. You could make a list of pros and cons about your potential involvement in Greek life, then participate in Rush and see what happens. You don't have to pledge, and no one will look down on you if you do or don't, but you'll be able to give it another go and see if it's right for you. Perhaps taking time off was a good thing for you and now that you're more familiar with everyone and the organizations you can make a well-informed decision. Don't be afraid if you make mistake--you can always fix it.
I hate hate HATE speaking in front of class. I think I have to do a presentation for my Senior Thesis, but I'd rather just present to a panel of professors than peers. Are these comps requirements set in stone?
- Petrified Presenter
Petrified Presenter,
Unfortunately, it's a requirement to do a presentation for your Senior Thesis, at least in most departments. As much as you hate speaking in front of your classes, you will most likely be doing tons of mini presentations throughout your comps class to get you prepared. This will definitely help you feel more comfortable speaking in front of your peers, especially since these are the same people who will be attending your final presentation. Therefore start getting to know the people in your comps class. If you feel comfortable with them, then you will feel comfortable when you go and present. Also, be prepared when you go up to present. You could tape yourself or practice with a professor or someone you feel comfortable with. Note cards can also help a lot. Tell your professor that you don't like speaking in class so that they are aware of it and maybe they will be able to offer advice. If all else fails, just don't look directly at audience members, look past them. It will appear like you are looking at them, but you're not, and the professors will be impressed!
- Katie
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