Ditz

Issue date: 12/6/07 Section: Vanities

Media Credit: www.allmoviephoto.com

Media Credit: www.retroradar.com

You might be wondering what a Ryan Gosling is. You know, that guy every girl wants. He is that just-right, ever-so-wonderful amazing guy who does and says everything better than you could have possibly imagined. He is the McDreamy of Grey's Anatomy, the Seth Cohen of The O.C.- he is charming, adorable, determined, and absolutely, undeniably in love with you.

Still don't get it? Come on, how many times have you watched a movie and thought I wish that was me? Whether we like to admit it or not, it has probably been too many times to count. Be honest with yourself, it is hard not to want a Ryan Gosling after watching The Notebook-he builds Allie a house with his own hands, for goodness sake. Noah and Allie have an undeniable love that conquers every obstacle, culminating with a scene no one could forget:

Allie: Why didn't you write me? Why? It wasn't over for me, I waited for you for seven years. But now it's too late.
Noah: I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everyday for a year.
Allie: You wrote me?
Noah: Yes... it wasn't over, it still isn't over.

In the end, love is so powerful it grants Noah and Allie the miracle of being together eternally as they die lying in each other's arms. Flashback to the 90s-remember Romeo & Juliet and Titanic? It's kind of like that. The idea of their love is endearing and irresistible to many.

Unfortunately, society falls in love with characters, not real people. Take Grey's Anatomy's popular star McDreamy. His name says it all. To many, Derek Shepherd's character is the perfect guy. He is attractive, sweet, supportive-he is everything a girl wants. But what are the chances that his character portrays the real him? Even celebrities such as Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger become enticed by the roles of their fellow stars.

"You get these crushes on guys, and then you meet them and you realize you just loved the role they were playing. Like, who doesn't love Ryan Gosling after you see The Notebook? Then you meet the person and you're like, huh? What?"

It all boils down to this: Hollywood is creating unrealistic relationship ideals. Many movies represent love as an instant occurrence, never-ending and unbeatable by any obstacle. When one impeccable relationship after another is shown to us from childhood on, our expectations increase exponentially. The ideals portrayed to us through mass media cause us to search for perfection, and desire something that may not even exist. It is not to say that love and good relationships aren't out there somewhere, but they're definitely not as perfect as Hollywood portrays them.

Let's examine the issue of love as an instant occurrence-how can you love someone when you don't even know them? Sure, people can have immediate chemistry, an instant attraction or desire, but honestly, how could a person claim to love someone based solely on appearance? Take Moulin Rouge-in the film, Ewan McGregor falls in love with Nicole Kidman the instant he lays eyes on her. McGregor risks his life climbing to the top of a building to serenade Kidman, a woman working at what is essentially a brothel, in an attempt to win her love. Although incredibly endearing, what is the likelihood that this would ever happen in reality? Slim to none.

Many fairytale movies promote this same notion of instantaneous love, with young women awoken by "true love's first kiss" only to live happily ever after with their princes. Seriously? They don't even know each other. We are taught from a very young age that love will happen with the snap of a finger. No wonder by the age of 20 people find themselves upset that they don't have the perfect relationship. According to U.S. census figures, 44 percent of adult Americans are unattached. If you do the math, there are over 100 million single people out there. Maybe this is because society's standards are too high. After all, if people are searching for what they see on TV and the big screen, they are be going hard pressed to find it.

So where are all of the Ryan Goslings, you ask? It's time to get real people-they don't exist.

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